Karma's a B****

I'm not sure how many people in the slave serving industry are Hindus or Buddhists, but I do know most of them believe in karma. The idea that you get what you give has gotten me through countless nights as a slave server. But I never knew for sure that the universe punished rude patrons for treating their waiters and waitresses poorly...

...until last weekend.

I went out to dinner, where I was seated next to a table of three. From my understanding, they were displeased with the taste and/or quality of their food and decided to take it out on their server. (This is not okay.) Their server was doing all the right things, despite the rude remarks his table was making - both to his face and behind his back that left me literally shaking my head in disgust.

Cut to us leaving the restaurant, shortly after the implolite table next to us had left. As we drove out of the parking lot, what did we see? To my delight, there were the people from the table, gathered around the open hood of their car and looking distraught. I'm just guessing, but I believe they were experiencing car trouble, aka a cosmic kick in the butt for mistreating their waiter. 

Karma = 1 point.

Fine Dining Indeed

I’m a cheap dinner date. I’ve never ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and I’m not hard to please – a pitcher of beer and a good burger will do it. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate being wined and dined, but I’m accustomed to casual dining. So, imagine my delight when last weekend, I was treated to dinner at a fancy restaurant and had the most expensive meal I’ve ever eaten.

Our host took the liberty of ordering wine for the table. Our glasses were filled with a delicious, velvety cabernet that accompanied our entrees perfectly. My glass wasn't empty until the end. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

 Shortly after being seated, appetizers arrived. Two enormous chilled shellfish platters, one with three tiers and the other the length of my torso, were placed at each end of the table. Lobster, crab legs, prawns, scallops, lump crab meat, and oysters were nestled on beds of ice. It was amazing.

I put off ordering as long as possible, unable to decide which dish I should choose. Finally, I opted for a chopped salad and a filet mignon topped with crab meat, asparagus, and béarnaise sauce. Bread baskets arrived with our salads and I selected a pretzel breadstick.

It was heaven. I have never tasted bread so perfect, so warm, so soft. I could have made a meal out of that bread. But, in the (paraphrased) words of the Bible, man cannot live on pretzel breadsticks alone. So, I had only one and ate my salad.

Shortly after, the main courses arrived. The filet mignon was magnificent. It was perfectly cooked, tender and juicy. Several sides were brought to the table and served family style, including French fries, scalloped potatoes, broccoli, and potato gratin. Yes. Please. It killed me when I had to leave one bite of my steak on my plate – I couldn’t fathom another bite in my beyond satisfied belly…

…until the dessert arrived, of course. It came for the whole table, served on a large platter. I ordered a cappuccino to accompany my sampler plate, which consisted of two-bite portions of key lime pie, New York cheesecake, and chocolate lava cake. I passed on the carrot cake, unsure of how to tackle the head-sized slice that lay on the platter.

When dinner was over, I felt so full I was sure I’d never eat again. (I have, of course, but I woke up still full the next morning.) I don’t think I’ll ever forget the most expensive meal I’ve ever had…that is, until I enjoy a costlier one!